Arigato - Confessions of an Alcoholic - Part VI
- queenc1981
- Jun 24
- 2 min read
Happy Tuesday!
Unfortunately not all days are good days and today is definitely rough. The sun is shining and I'm surrounded by things that should make me happy but I just can't shake the deep depression I woke up feeling...it's like my soul hurts. Some days, even the best medication can't help.
I hope your day is filled with much love and happiness😊 🌞
XOXO
“What are you up to for the rest of the day?” Ferrah asked picking my dog up, “Taking her for a walk for sure and then have a ton of work to do” I responded pointing at the silver laptop sitting on the kitchen island. She paused as if this was where I was to invite her to come along but I’ve never been good at social cues besides, I wasn’t at my ‘social state’ yet having only a small portion of red wine. It was far too early to offer anything other than coffee so I’d have to live in my awkward state until she left. This too became a common practice of mine… rushing those who visited out of my house to further hide my addiction.
You’d think it would come to realization that the mere fact that I’m hiding it means that I probably shouldn’t be doing it. Never did this cross my mind… “I’m just an introvert” I would say…”I’m too busy, can we just text instead?”
Texting became my main form of communication due to being able to hide behind a screen never allowing the person too close to see what was really going on.
I assume that if had I allowed people into my life back then, I’d have ended up on an episode of ‘Intervention.’ Although I am socially awkward and extremely anxious I truly believed I was better off as a hermit. “Well, I better get going”, Ferrah announced as she grabbed her purse and headed to the front entrance way… “I’ll message you later, Cher” “perfect” I thought.
I returned to the cellar with a makeshift door stop and retrieved the bottle plus two others. Back in the kitchen, wine glass in hand, I poured the rest of the bottle and headed upstairs.
Hours passed and one bottle lead to another… “Want to come over for a drink?” the message from my neighbor read. I had already been drinking and should really switch to water but she was just down the road and I was in my social state, I could walk over and have one drink then come back home and be in bed early because TOMORROW was going to be productive! I swore it!