The Booze Blogs - Part I

Happy Saturday my lovelies!

I thought today we'd get into some humiliating confessions that I'm sure most alcoholics can relate to.

For clarity, this is the past and although we cannot worry about what was and only think about what is...the past can provide powerful insight into our future.

I've mentioned before that I live in a small town outside a small city in Northern Ontario. Like most small towns and country communities, we have a general store and it's licensed! All the wine and vodka I could drink was a 30 minute round trip to the local general store and I took that trip so many times I'm sure my Bronco wore a path in the dirt roads.

Most, if not all, alcoholics are sneaky! We don't want anyone to know how much we drink and because of this we use elaborate excuses and stories as to why we cannot drive mid-day or what we actually did all afternoon.

Acting sober becomes a valued skill set but it doesn't end there. I've written in the past about my day drinking that turns into night drinking that (to avoid the hangover) returns to day drinking. Being around people while sober becomes tedious as your booze filled extroverted personality reverts to the silent introvert that never wanted to be here in the first place.

Chimes rang...it was 5:30 AM...

Turning off the alarm I looked at the notifications on my phone. Well if we're being honest...one particular notification. Disappointed I returned the phone to my bedside table and went to the kitchen to feed the animals. While making coffee I felt a warm wave of nausea wash over me...I ran for the washroom and threw up the vodka that was sitting in my stomach all night.

Avoiding the mirror I left the washroom...red faced with tears in my eyes.

Quickly changing my mind from coffee to a morning drink (just to cure the hangover) I opened the cupboard to discover I had finished the bottle. Knowing there was beer in the garage I considered it but returned to my coffee promising myself there would be no drinking today! (I made this promise often).

Part II - Coming later this afternoon. Stay tuned!